


Make it Better

by NaganSavior



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Cold, Confused Rick Grimes, Fluff, Getting Together, Kidnapping, M/M, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Sick Rick Grimes, Sickfic, Sweet Negan (Walking Dead), Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 20,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26321281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaganSavior/pseuds/NaganSavior
Summary: Rick is sick and Negan decides to kidnap him until he gets well again.
Relationships: Rick Grimes/Negan
Comments: 31
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter 1

Rick should have expected it to happen. 

The weather had been getting colder and colder plus he had to go out there everyday for hours in order to search things for Negan and his "tributes". It was only natural to get sick eventually despite trying to avoid it by getting dressed warmly. He had two days now that he could barely stand up, his nose was stuffed, he was coughing and on top of everything he had a fever. He knew he should be laying in a warm bed right now but instead-

"Why are there only four cans of pork and beans?" Negan demanded to know. 

Rick had been struggling to not show him that he was down with a cold because who knew what Negan would be telling him. That it was his fault, that he couldn't get the job done and many other crap. So he had been trying his best to appear normal as Negan was looking at what they had found. 

"Earth to Rick, do you copy?" Negan asked him as apparently he had spaced out which was unacceptable by Negan's standards. 

Rick sighed and tried not to cough. 

"There are four because there weren't any others left" he told him. 

"Or maybe you should have tried harder" Negan told him as he cornered him against the wall. Rick tried to not look intimidated. Negan and his stupid pork and beans, he thought miserably. 

Negan had him completely pressed to the wall and Rick was not feeling well. 

"I tried" he said to him as he couldn't find anything better. 

Rick felt his face burning up and exhaustion getting to him. Negan being so close to him wasn't helping either. 

Suddenly Rick couldn't hold it any longer and he started coughing while putting his palm on his mouth. 

Negan's took a step back as his eyes widened. 

"You're sick" he said as he looked at Rick better. The guy was clearly worn down. Negan saw his face flushing up and he pressed his palm on Rick's forehead. He was hot to the touch. 

Rick had shivers and he was trembling. 

"I'm fine" he managed to let out miserably. 

Negan forgot the pork and beans and focused on him instead. Rick was his and being sick was not something he could allow. Especially not telling him about it and thinking he could keep it a secret. 

Rick watched Negan remove his leather jacket which left him only in his white T-shirt. Wasn't that guy cold? His view followed Negan's strong arms that got exposed from removing his jacket. Suddenly he found himself enveloped in Negan's jacket which was radiating a warmth. 

"Wha…?" he let out confused. 

"I could take it back," Negan said flatly, and that made Rick clutch the jacket closer defensively. It was warm and he could smell something pepperminty, as much as his stuffy nose would let him smell anything.

"You should know better than to walk around sick" Negan told him disappointed like it was his fault. 

"You can't blame me for—" Rick paused to sneeze six times in succession, and then the world spun for a second when Negan swept Rick's legs out from under him. Rick closed his eyes against the dizziness, and when the vertigo stopped, he realized that Negan had pulled him up and over his shoulders in a fireman's carry. "Negan, put me down, this is so embarrassing—"

Negan ignored him and started taking him towards their trucks. 

Daryl saw Negan carryng Rick and hurried to them. 

"Hey, what the hell you're doing?" he demanded as Michonne ran to them as well. 

"I'm kidnapping your leader" he told them as he smirked. Rick tried to escape him but Negan kept him firmly in his arms. He looked at his friends in despair as Negan reached their cars and deposited him at the passenger's seat putting on the seatbelt for him. 

"We will not take tribute today but I do expect it next time" he grinned at them as Daryl and Michonne were looking at Rick unable to do something about Negan taking him "Got something else instead" he continued as he smirked at Rick who was miserable. 

"Ta ta" Negan told them as he got inside the car. 

"Let me go" Rick straight up begged him. He didn't care if he would appear weak or not. 

"I will when you get healthy, not before that" Negan told him like it was the most natural thing in the world to kidnap your enemy because he was sick at the moment. 

Rick sighed exasperated as Negan started driving. He could try to strangle him but he was not feeling well and he risked getting them both killed. 

He decided to accept his fate and rested his hot forehead to the cool glass of the window and fell asleep instead.


	2. Chapter 2

Rick woke up to Negan opening the door on his side to get him out. He let out a tired groan. So he didn't dream it after all. Because only in a dream that would make sense. 

Negan looked very happy on the other hand that he finally had him all alone. Not that he didn't have him already but it was different being at Alexandria surrounded by his friends and different at Negan's home where everyone was on Negan's side. Who knows what he would do to him masked like he cared for his well-being. Negan went to pick him up again, but it was too much for Rick. Over his dead body he would let the Saviors see Negan carrying him bridal style. 

"I can walk" he intervened as he got out of the car with trembling legs. Negan took a step back and watched him with a small smirk. Rick managed to stand on his own and shot Negan a triumphant glare to which Negan rolled his eyes. 

"You've never been to my humble home again" said Negan conversationally as he forced Rick to follow. 

"Yeah didn't have this pleasure..." Rick snapped at him as he let out a cough. 

"Don't be mean" Negan told him with a criticizing look "Daryl has been here, Carl... It was time you visited as well"

"They were too kind with what you did to them" Rick said with anger despite feeling unwell "who knows maybe I'll achieve what they didn't when they were here and that is to kill you"

Negan looked at him as they kept walking. 

"I'll blame the fever for your behaviour" he decided as Rick rolled his eyes. 

It wasn't a fever effect to want to kill him. 

Negan finally got him to his room which was very big and had all kinds of luxuries. Which didn't surprise Rick at all with how Negan had been stealing things from all of them. 

"Where is my room?" he demanded to know as Negan's bed was king size. 

Negan laughed at that. 

"Prince Rick wants his own room. Here is your room, hope you like it" he told him as he smirked. 

"No way" Rick spat out "I'm not sleeping with you. So many things you have taken from us, can't believe you don't have a spare room"

"We have some spare cells if you're interested" Negan said to him as he walked closer to his feverish face. 

Rick swallowed hard at that. 

"I'm not..." he mumbled eventually. 

"Good" Negan smirked at him "now that we solved that take off your clothes, want my jacket back either way"

Rick's eyes widened. 

"I'm not stripping in front of you" Rick told him flustered. 

"Jeez you can keep the underwear, not completely" Negan said to him as he looked at him expectantly. 

Rick had no idea how striping naked would help his cold but he had no other choice. He started to remove his clothes and Negan's jacket trying to focus on the tasks and not at Negan who was watching his every move. When he finally stripped from everything except from his boxers, Negan's eyes lingered on his body for a second and moved to give him a pair of warm pyjamas. 

"How would you lay down with the clothes?" he told him although Rick knew that he wanted to see his embarrassment of having to strip in front of his enemy. 

Rick wore them quickly as he let out some coughs again. 

Negan removed the bed covers for him and told him to lay down. Rick's face had to be red by now from his embarrassment but he complied as Negan tucked the covers so he could be warm. He also brought him a blanket because Rick was shivering. 

"All good" Negan said as he checked on him being covered up with the covers and blanket. 

"Where do you see the good?" Rick told him as he trembled "that you kidnapped me?"

"I take care of what's mine Rick and you're mine. Can't let you die from some cold so some other prick can take over" Negan said to him as he stood above him. 

"You know that I have a family right? These kids are not there for you to threaten if I don't leave you satisfied. They need me and you didn't even let me tell them goodbye" Rick said frustrated. 

"First of all only Carl I threatened and that was for some intimidation, didn't harm one single long string of hair of his. Judith is just a toddler and super cute. Would never harm her. Plus there are so many people to take care of them until you get better. You wouldn't be able to do so either way" Negan said like everything was that simple. 

Rick sighed frustrated and turned his back to him. He didn't know what Negan was saying, he wanted to be with his family.


	3. Chapter 3

Negan watched Rick turning his back to him and he sighed. Why he had to be so stubborn? How hard was it to realise that he did care for his health? He may had threatened him in the past but he didn't want him to suffer. Had he known that Rick was sick, he wouldn't have been complaining about some pork and beans cans. Rick thought that he was a monster though that didn't give a damn about him which wasn't true of course. He would take care of him though whether he liked it or not. 

He walked to his bathroom and thought to take a warm bath. He didn't need to get sick as well. Even if the circumstances weren't ideal, he was excited to get to sleep with Rick. How many times had he wished that would happen? He could do him the favor and give him a room of his own but didn't want to. Here he could check on him and keep him safe, despite Rick not liking it. Negan showered and washed his hair. He turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist. He forgot to take his pyjamas to change while at the bathroom. Negan wondered how Rick would react to see him only with a towel. But then again he had forgotten his pyjamas, what to do now about it? 

He opened the door of the bathroom and walked casually to his room. Rick was laying on his back and his eyes widened as he saw him like that. His cheeks reddened and it had nothing to do with the fever. 

"Couldn't you get dressed before getting out?" he told him feeling embarrassed. First he made him strip, now he was seeing Negan only with a towel... 

"Forgot them with how stubborn you were being" Negan shrugged "it's not like it's a bad view" he said as he smirked at him. 

Rick let out a groan and covered his face with his pillow. He didn't need to see Negan dressing up. 

"You can breath now" Negan told him after three minutes. 

Rick removed the pillow from his face hesitantly and looked at him. Thankfully he was fully dressed in pyjamas. 

"Can I sleep on the floor?" Rick questioned exasperated. 

"Wouldn't recommend it, but if you want to, be my guest" Negan grinned at him. 

"Can I at least have a bottle of water? I may get thirsty" he told him in annoyance. A water wasn't a crazy request after all. 

Negan gave him one and left it at the bedside table. 

He walked to his side of the bed and laid down covering himself as well. 

Rick thought he would be having a panic attack. He was making scenarios in his head were Negan was bashing his head in while he was sleeping. He let out an anxious sigh. 

"Will you be sighing all night?" Negan questioned him. 

"You wanted to sleep with me" Rick told him defensively "If you don't like it, let me go sleep somewhere else or at my home"

"Nice try ,but nope" said Negan "so sigh all you want, I'm gonna sleep"

Rick looked at him miserably that nothing he was saying was working. He would sleep with Negan, that was it. Just wished he wouldn't murder him. 

Thankfully Negan left a respectful space between them and turned off the lamp at his bedside table. With that he turned his back to Rick and he heard his breath calm down. 

Rick should try to do the same. He sat up a bit and drank some water because his mouth was dry from the anxiety and sickness. 

He laid back down and closed his eyes, hoping that tomorrow would come soon and that Negan would let him go home.


	4. Chapter 4

“Eeny, meeny, miny, moe” 

Rick saw Lucille getting swinged at his face and woke up sobbing. His whole body was sore and he must have raised a higher fever. He sat up and let tears fall from his eyes. Negan stirred awake next to him and saw Rick crying his eyes out. 

He may had woken him up ,but he couldn't be mad. Rick was clearly not well. 

"Hey" he told him quietly. Rick snapped at his voice because he thought he had been sleeping. "Come here" Negan pleaded him. 

Rick looked at him unsure but he laid back down hesitantly. Negan moved closer to him. He took the edge of the blanket and cleared the tears from his face. Rick was very hot to the touch. He didn't think this was a common cold. It seemed more serious. To his surprise Rick let him do what he wanted to him and stayed silent. 

"Carson will see you tomorrow" Negan muttered to him. He seemed to need medicines in order to get better. 

Rick didn't argue but he wasn't reacting either way. 

"Do you want to tell me why you were crying?" Negan questioned as he bit his lip. 

Rick took a trembling breath. 

"Saw that you killed me" he admitted at last. 

Negan sighed this time. Of course he would be having dreams like that. 

"It was just a nightmare" Negan told him ,trying to calm his nerves down. 

Rick didn't have anything to say. It may was a nightmare but there was nothing stopping him to do it for real as well. 

Negan wrapped his arm carefully around Rick in an attempt to calm him down. 

"Shh, shh" he said as he rocked Rick gently. Thankfully Rick didn't demand him to remove his arm from him and stayed still. Negan continued the "shh" method. His mother used to do it when he was a kid and upset at night. It would calm him down. 

Soon Rick's tense body relaxed under his arm and fell asleep again. Negan continued calming him down until he was sure that Rick was deep into sleep. 

It was heartbreaking that Rick was so anxious and upset. He may had joked before but now he didn't find anything funny about all that.

He wished that tomorrow or better say -today, Rick would be calmer around him. Negan should be more careful to not be making him disturbed. Rick was scared and sick. It wasn't the time right now to be messing with him. Since the whole point he took him was to help him get better, he should do just that. 

Negan glared at him one more time and fell asleep as well with his arm wrapped around Rick. 

\---

Rick woke up again to soft light coming from the window. It was a moody day outside with grey clouds covering the sky. He expected to see Negan beside him but his side of the bed was already made up and he wasn't in the room. 

Maybe he got tired of me crying and decided to leave me alone, he thought bitterly. Being sick sucked already, being with their enemies sucked even more and sleeping with Negan was the cherry on top. Perhaps Negan realised how much of a trouble it was to nurse your enemy back to health and decided to let him pass it on his own. Rick knew that he would be very lonely but for how long could he be sick for. When he was well, he hoped Negan would be true to his word and let him go. 

Suddenly the door of the room opened and Negan walked in with a tray. Rick looked at him in disbelief like he didn't think he would be back. 

"Good morning" Negan told him "Thought you wouldn't be awake by now..." he drawled hesitantly. 

Rick let out some coughs. 

"Just woke up" he replied. 

Negan offered him a small smile. 

"The room service has arrived" he told him "would you like breakfast in bed or at the table?" Negan questioned. 

Rick's eyes widened. He thought he would be feeding him once or twice a day to not be eating their precious food. 

"I'll eat at the table" he mumbled unsure. Negan eyed him as he sat up in case he wanted help. Rick was feeling very weak. He dragged himself to stand up and walked slowly towards the table sitting down at a chair. 

Negan picked up the blanket from the bed and put it on his shoulders. The Sanctuary didn't have the best thermal insulation. He didn't want him to become worse. 

Rick looked at the wood of the table like it was something very interesting. Negan left a plate with a warm omelette and bread in front of him and he brought one for himself as well. 

Negan sat opposite from him and they ate mostly in silence. Negan couldn't help but glare at Rick quickly when he wasn't seeing him doing so. He didn't eat the whole omelette but at least he ate. Negan didn't have so much appetite either but he ate mostly to keep him some company. 

"Did the fever drop?" Negan asked him suddenly. 

Rick had dizziness and he doubted that the fever had dropped but he pressed his palm on his forehead. 

"Nope, still there" he told him in frustration. Not only he wasn't better, but worse. Negan's opportunity to keep him more. 

Negan sighed mostly at Rick's disappointment that was written all over his face. 

"I'll bring Carson a bit later to check on you" Negan said to him as they looked each other in the eyes. Negan didn't think he would ever get tired seeing these bright blue eyes. 

He wished with some happiness as well, because only with tears and fear they had been watching him up to this point.


	5. Chapter 5

After they ate breakfast, Negan called Carson to check on Rick. Dr Carson was very surprised to find out that Rick was at the Sanctuary and that Negan did it to help him get well again. He had never seen Negan do something kind again, especially for Rick of all people. But he would never say no to help someone in need. So when Negan called him to check Rick and make a diagnosis, he was glad to do so. 

Rick was laying in bed again with tissues by his side and he was coughing hard. Negan helped him drink some water as he looked at him with worry. His room was more luxurious than any house at Alexandria, he thought it would help him to be very comfortable. On the other hand though, Rick was more stressed out here than to Alexandria. 

Carson pulled out a stethoscope as Negan was standing beside him and they were both looking at Rick. Rick though wasn't used to so much attention and felt really awkward, despite the fact that he was happy to see Dr Carson again. Another Negan's victim, who was taken with force to be their doctor. At least he was ok. 

Dr Carson removed the stethoscope after awhile and looked at Rick sceptically. 

Negan turned to him. 

"Will he live?" he asked worried. 

Rick rolled his eyes at that despite his sickness. 

"It seems that you suffer from pneumonia Rick" Carson told them. "It's not just a cold"

"What does that mean for me?" Rick questioned with a rough voice. That he wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, it meant. 

"Pneumonia can last up to two weeks and that is if you take antibiotics. Thankfully they had been found but you seem to have it bad" Carson said. 

Negan looked at Rick as he was trying to take it all in. Rick felt like he was on the verge of tearing up. Negan wanted to make a comment, but opted not to. 

"Don't worry" Carson tried to comfort him "we will treat it and you'll be fine in no time. The temperature has dropped, it's not uncommon to get sick"

Two weeks or more with Negan. That was all Rick could think about. While suffering all kinds of symptoms. This wasn't a sickness, it was a sentence. 

Suddenly they heard noises coming from outside the door. Someone was yelling. The door opened with a loud sound and to their surprise, Carl ran in, losing his balance and falling to the floor. 

"We will catch that little shit!" one of Negan's men yelled from a short distance. 

Before Negan could react, Carl got back up to his feet and pulled out a gun, pointing it at him. Just in time, three of Negan's men appeared by the door and looked at Carl who was having Negan at gunpoint. 

"Sir we couldn't stop him" said one out of breath as they all pointed their guns at Carl.

Carl though seemed determined. 

"Drop your weapons or I'll shoot him" he threatened. 

Rick was shocked by what he was seeing. His son was there and he was pointing a gun at Negan. Next to Negan was Carson though. 

"Carl drop the weapon right now" Rick told him roughly. He wouldn't risk someone shooting at him. 

"No, I'm not" said Carl as he removed the safe. 

"You will probably get us all killed!" Rick spat out despite his tiredness. He was so angry at the moment with Carl. 

Negan was silent as Carl was getting ready to shoot at him and Carson was scared. 

"Carl now! I won't say it again!" Rick snapped at him. 

Negan's men were ready to shoot if Negan gave them the go ahead. 

Carl looked at his father and he had never seen him so angry before. 

He eventually lowered his weapon. Negan motioned his men to do the same. 

"We are ok here" he told them "you can go now"

His men nodded as they gave Carl hard looks and they left. When the door closed behind them, a silence fell at the room. 

"I want to talk to my son" Rick said coldly. 

"Rick-" Negan started. 

"I said, I want to talk to my son" Rick repeated giving Negan a warning look. 

Negan sighed as Rick was clearly pissed off. Him and Carson left them alone though. 

"Dad I-" started Carl. 

"What the hell are you doing Carl?" Rick snapped at him ,despite the pain in his throat "they could have killed you"

"Just wanted to get you out of here" Carl tried to explain. 

"You think I like being here Carl? But ignoring me every single time, makes me outrageous!" Rick spat out. 

"I just-" Carl tried again. 

"You just disappointed me very much" Rick told him in anger. "Go home and when Negan lets me go, you and me will talk very seriously. Of course there will also be consequences for your actions" 

Carl dropped his head and felt awful. He just wanted his dad back. Why was that so bad? Negan took him so he had to pay. 

Rick had been very harsh on him. Carl left his father alone and walked out of the room feeling like a kicked out puppy. Negan was waiting right outside of the room, having heard everything. He felt bad for the kid despite the fact that he tried to kill him again. Rick was being unfair to him. 

Carl was just worried after all.

He saw Dwight passing by and an idea popped to his head. 

"Dwight" he told him "put Carl at a guest room"

"What?!" Carl demanded ,as he got ready to fight Dwight from taking him "I'm leaving"

"Nope" Negan said "you will be put in Time-out. Won't let you go so easily like last time" he added as he grabbed the gun from him. 

Carl got very upset and tried to fight as Dwight grabbed his arm ,but he was no match for him. 

Negan took a deep breath and walked to his room again. 

Rick was still fumming. 

"I think you are unfair" he said hesitantly to Rick. 

"My son, my rules" Rick spat at him "you don't have kids ,so don't lecture me"

Negan felt hurt at that. It was a subject that was painful for him. 

"Ok then, if you want to play it that way" Negan told him coldly "My compound, my rules. I've treated you very well until now. But since you're at MY compound, that will change from now and on"

Negan snapped at him, as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with a loud noise.


	6. Chapter 6

Rick sat in silence all by himself and felt bad for yelling at Carl. He just didn't like seeing his son like that. Didn't want him to turn into a vigilante like the comics he was reading. That wasn't the right way. He feared that Carl would turn into a mini Negan and lose his humanity. Of course deep inside he knew that Carl was nothing like Negan. The kid just wanted to protect him and he had snapped at him. Not only that but he had angered Negan as well. He bet that he would be cold towards him, like he had threatened. Rick sighed frustrated and coughed again. He felt miserable being on his own and missed Negan's company, despite his mind telling him that he shouldn't miss it. 

Negan was walking aimlessly around the Sanctuary snapping at anyone he saw not working. They didn't even have many things to do, but it just annoyed him to see them sitting without doing something. It was a way to keep himself occupied and not think of the Grimes guys that he currently kept at the compound. Rick being stubborn once again, Carl that tried to kill him... He just didn't know what to do with them. Basically he knew what he should do. Try to fix their relationship. Rick needed Carl and Carl needed his dad. He didn't want them to have this bitterness between them because of him. Keeping them seperated would help calm them down at first and he was already planning to make them talk things out. 

Rick had gotten on his nerves once again but he shouldn't hold a grudge against him. The guy was sick and stuck with his enemy. Plus his son had showed up unexpectedly and tried to assassinate him. As much as he hated seeing Rick scold Carl, he also hated arguing with him and leaving him alone. Rick wanted company despite not admitting it. Negan had been planning to sleep alone somewhere else today, he regretted it though and decided to sleep with Rick instead. Yesterday, after Rick woke up from the nightmare, he had one of the best sleeps after a very long time. Somehow it made him calm to have Rick by his side. 

Negan sighed and decided to bring Carl food before heading to sleep. Tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, he would let them talk and then allow Carl to go home. The kid was acting like he was planning to keep him forever. Negan unlocked the door of the room that Dwight had put Carl in and found him curled on the bed, staring at the wall. He believed that the Grimes were actual drama queens. Both Carl and Rick acted like it was the end of the world, when he hadn't really done something in order to hurt them. Keeping them there may caused them some discomfort but it wasn't actual hurting. 

Negan sat at the edge of the bed and looked at Carl. 

"Are you mad at me?" Negan questioned him. 

Carl didn't answer ,although his body tensed. 

"I know that you did that because I took your dad" he continued. 

The kid still wasn't responding. 

"Look you may hate me, but if I know something about your dad is that he loves you and Judith more than anything else in the world. He would do anything for you and hell he has proved it. He is a dad, it's normal to worry. You shouldn't be mad at him, especially now that he is sick. Of course he would prefer to be with you guys, but here he has a doctor to be checking on his health... Don't know, just give him a chance maybe..." Negan drawled. 

Carl finally turned to look at him. He was already emotional and he felt even more at Rick's words that he had disappointed him. 

"I am a disappointment, nothing more" Carl sobbed out. 

Negan felt his heart break. Like when he had made him reveal his eye despite the fact that Carl didn't want to, he felt bad seeing the kid crying. 

"He didn't mean it Carl. Something the fever, something that he has to deal with me...well ,he just snapped at you. Don't believe he would ever be serious about something like that" 

"Maybe... Don't know" said Carl as he cleared the tears from his one cheek. 

"I'll tell you what we will do. You will eat now since I brought you food and tomorrow we will make him together something ,like a dessert ,to clear up this whole mess. What do you think?"

"So, I'm not in Time-out?" Carl asked as he smirked a bit. 

"If you fix things with your dad, no you will not be in Time-out" Negan smirked back at him. 

"Deal then" said Carl as Negan brought him a delicious looking burger with fries. 

Negan smiled at himself as Carl practically devoured the food.


	7. Chapter 7

Negan let Carl rest and walked to his room. He tried to appear indifferent but his heart started beating faster when he saw Rick who was still at bed, he doubted that he had stood up at all though. Negan grabbed his pyjamas and went to the bathroom to change. He brushed his teeth and walked back out to lay down. 

Rick just watched him in silence, but didn't know what to say. Had been wrong snapping at him and telling him that he didn't have kids so he couldn't say his opinion. Negan may didn't have kids of his own, but he clearly cared about his, so it's not like he wanted to tear them apart. He knew that his weak point were his kids and the only thing that could destroy him if something happened to them. But Negan had never hurt them, despite his early threats to do so. He may hated that he had killed two of his friends, forced them in a life of servitude and "kidnapping" him,but he had to give Negan some credits as well.

Negan felt frustrated as he had to lay next to Rick and pretend that he was mad at him. He could feel Rick's eyes on him and Negan had to hold himself in order to not break character. Rick's words may had been hurtful but it was at a moment of anger, he knew that he didn't mean them. For Carl that he was a disappointment also. If Carl was a disappointment, he didn't know what some other brats he had at school were. Negan let out a sigh and decided to close his eyes. Rick and Carl would talk things out tomorrow and everything would be back to normal so they could focus on Rick's sickness.

Rick was feeling internal pressure. On the one hand he had fever and felt weak and on the other he wanted to apologize but didn't know how. Him and Negan were always dealing with their problems by kicking each other. Of course this wasn't a solution in his condition and he had never tried a calmer approach. To speak about it with words instead of fists and threats. He hated this coldness that was radiating between them though.

After a while, Rick saw that Negan closed his eyes to sleep and contemplated what to do. He didn't want to sleep as well right now. Negan talking to him wasn't gonna happen, so what was left? He knew that it was a risk but moved himself slowly towards Negan. Rick hoped that Negan wouldn't notice. He was barely touching him and looked if he was really sleeping. It seemed that way. Because if he wasn't, there was a chance he would snap at him again. Rick bit his lip hesitantly and threw an arm over Negan's warm torso. He expected Negan to remove it, but nothing happened. Rick smiled a bit at his achievement and left his arm wrapped around Negan. Now that he had him wrapped up, he closed his eyes more happy than before, in order to sleep.

Some moments later, Negan opened his eyes and smirked as he saw Rick,who had wrapped himself around him and now was sleeping peacefully. That guy was just unbelievable. He moved himself even closer to Rick and kept the smirk on his face as he fell asleep, for real this time.


	8. Chapter 8

Νegan blinked his eyes and saw Rick's blue ones staring at him. He had slept very nicely truth be told. 

"How are you?" Negan asked him without a care that he was supposed to be mad at him. 

"Ehh the same..." Rick mumbled roughly. Negan pressed his palm at his forehead and he was indeed with a fever. He sighed. 

"You are gonna start antibiotics today" Negan told him decisively. He could have started from yesterday ,but all that had happened so he didn't start. 

"Ok" Rick answered as he continued staring at him. 

"You are such a prick" Negan told him out of sudden.

Rick let out a small chuckle at that. 

"And you're an asshole, you see me complaining?" Rick asked him. 

Negan rolled his eyes at that. 

"All the time, but that's not the point. Being a prick overshadows me being an asshole" 

Rick rested his head on Negan's shoulder. 

"Don't want us to be fighting" Rick admitted. 

Negan sighed at that. "Yeah, me too. I know that you got mad yesterday but no harm was done, so it's alright" he told him in an attempt to calm Rick down. 

"I am afraid that he is gonna become violent..." Rick said letting out a sigh. 

"The kid may be a little serial killer" said Negan as Rick shot him a glare "but he is not on the dark side, Rick. He will never be" 

"He likes to hang out with you, so how to know for sure..." Rick said as he poked him playfully. 

"When he is not trying to kill me you mean" Negan said as he raised his eyebrows "but yeah if I'm not a bad influence for you, I won't be for Carl either"

"Who said that you're not a bad influence?" Rick demanded to know. 

"You did hug me last night - all night" Negan smirked at him. 

"Since you kidnapped me, I have to enjoy the warmth you radiate. Come on, I'm sick..." Rick complained. 

Negan pulled him closer. 

"I'm willing to heat you up" he smirked at him as he connected his head with Rick's "let's hope you get well soon" 

"Yeah..." Rick mumbled as he let out a cough again. He wished so too, but now he wasn't so sure if he was eager for what would come when he was healthy again. Negan would let him go like he had said and while that should be something positive, Rick didn't know anymore. 

Despite being sick, he was starting to enjoy Negan's company and didn't want them to be enemies again. 

\---

Negan left Rick with Dr Carson to let him know what treatment they would be following and decided to spend some time with Carl, to organize a surprise for Rick. He was thinking of making him a dessert but Rick was sick so he wouldn't be able to eat it right now. He opted to make some hot tea instead that would be more appropriate both for the sickness and to talk things out. 

He took him to the kitchen and Negan began making some. 

"Are you ready to talk to your dad?" Negan questioned. 

"Erm kinda..." Carl drawled unsure. 

"Don't worry. He is not mad still" Negan tried to comfort him. 

"Yeah let's hope he forgives me" Carl told him. 

"I'm sure he already has, Carl" said Negan "you're both gonna become the badass family that impressed then hell out of me again" he smirked at him. 

"So you weren't lying when you said I was badass?" Carl asked in amusement. 

"Are you joking kid? You scare the crap out of me everytime we meet..." Negan told him conspiratorially. 

"Exactly" Carl laughed "so better be careful"


	9. Chapter 9

Rick was laying at bed and was wondering when Negan would be back. He knew that he couldn't expect to spend his whole day with him, but still wanted some company since he couldn't do anything else right now. 

Suddenly the door opened and Negan walked in holding a tray with two mugs and a teapot, while Carl was following behind him. 

What was Carl still doing here? Rick's eyes widened when he saw him. He looked at Negan waiting for some answers. 

Negan smirked at him like he had expected Rick to react like that. 

"Didn't let him go" Negan answered like it was something very normal to do. 

Rick sighed very frustrated. Negan had been holding his son two days now and he didn't have a clue. 

"Would you be so kind to explain why the hell you didn't?" asked Rick in annoyance. 

Negan walked closer to him. 

"Because I told you " My compound, my rules" Negan grinned at him. 

"He is my son though and my rules still apply" Rick pointed out. Carl rolled his eyes at their banter. 

"Yeah but when you got mad it was under my roof so my rules overthrow yours" Negan said as he argued with Rick. 

"...and what kind of rules are those that you keep my son and don't let him go ,like you should have already?" Rick asked as he crossed his arms in front of him. 

"It's one and it's very simple" Negan smirked "you Grimes are gonna talk things out between you and not wait two months to do so. Then I'll let him go"

"Two months?" Rick demanded "I won't be sick for two months"

"These sicknesses can be very sneaky, so you never know..." Negan told him and it was Rick's turn to roll his eyes. 

"It won't last for this long" Rick told him and Negan sighed exasperated. 

"Don't stick to the words Rick. You got my point. So drink some tea and talk things out in order to not keep our little serial killer here as well, he has better things to do I'm sure" Negan grinned at Carl, who blushed a bit. 

"Fine" Rick mumbled defeated as he coughed again. Of course he wanted his son to go home. 

Negan flashed him a smile and walked out to let them talk. 

Carl let out a sigh without knowing what to say. Instead filled them both some tea and gave Rick the one mug. Surprisingly it tasted very good and it was nice for the cold weather. 

"Did he hurt you?" Rick asked Carl, because if he did, Negan would have to do with him. 

"No" Carl shook his head negatively "locked me to a room for some hours but other than that he didn't harm me in any way"

Rick felt relief at that. Negan and his ideas...

"Look dad, I'm sorry" mumbled Carl "I ignored the dangers, just wanted to get you out of here. He could may as well be torturing you..."

"I know Carl" Rick told him feeling regrets for what he said "I understand that you were worried and I said some harsh things to you"

Carl sighed as he looked at the floor. 

"I've disappointed you though ,that wasn't a lie" Carl said with sadness. He wanted to be someone who's Rick was gonna be proud of. 

"You haven't Carl" Rick argued "but want you to hear me out from time to time as well, I feel like I don't exist at moments. You're gonna be your own man soon and you can make your own decisions, but for now hear me out for a bit and don't ignore me" he mumbled. 

"Ι get it dad, but I can't just sit around doing nothing. I mean he practically took you and left" Carl told him bitterly. 

"Yeah..." Rick sighed "If I had told you what was happening, you would have been more calm. But you know, Negan..." he rolled his eyes. 

"I love you Dad" Carl sobbed as he left his mug at the bedside table and hugged him. 

"Love you too Carl" Rick said equally emotional "being apart won't be for long. You know I'll always come back to you and Judith"

Just then the door opened and Negan walked back in having a huge grin at seeing them hug. 

"I see I came back at a right time!" he told them excitedly. 

"U-huh" Rick replied "we just got done talking about how we will kill you and make it look like an accident"

Carl laughed and Negan feigned being hurt. 

"Aww you love me" he told him. 

Rick blushed at that but thankfully it blended with his fever. 

"No, I don't" he replied as Negan and Carl laughed.


	10. Chapter 10

Negan, Carl and Rick spent their evening playing cards at Negan's room. It should feel awkward with the past they had but it actually felt very cozy and they had fun. Rick felt tired at some point and stopped playing but Carl and Negan continued for some more rounds. Seeing them getting along, made Rick feel warmth. The kid needed someone except from him to be there for him. Negan maybe didn't seem like the ideal choice at first, but seeing them now made him rethink it. He had nothing to gain from being kind to both of them when they were at his compound but he did and that meant a lot to Rick. 

When the sky turned dark outside, Negan walked Carl to his room in order to get some sleep. Tomorrow morning the kid would be returned to Alexandria like promised. 

They reached the door of Carl's temporary room and Negan smirked at him. 

"Is everything good between you now?" he asked him. 

"Yeah" Carl nodded "thanks for that. You may not be as terrible as I thought..." he said with a chuckle. 

"Yes" Negan answered thoughtfully "I may be not". He had never done similar things for anyone else but found himself to want to try for the Grimes. 

"I think I understand why you kidnapped my Dad" Carl told him knowingly. 

"What do you mean kid?" questioned Negan as he raised his eyebrows "Took him because I don't want him to die and someone else to take over"

"We both know that if it was anyone else you would keep sending them out in the cold to search things for you. Daryl was beaten and locked up, me, you forced me to remove my bandage and sing for you, my Dad ,you just told him to lay down and you take care of him until his sickness passes" Carl shrugged his shoulders. 

"Ok I may, MAY, care about him, so what?" Negan said exasperated. 

"Nothing, fine by me" Carl told him as he smirked and entered his room "goodnight Negan"

Negan stared at him intensely but let out a small chuckle eventually. 

"Night Carl" Negan replied. 

\---  
When Negan got back to his room, he found Rick coughing a lot. 

How had that happened in such limited time that he had been missing? His face was sweaty and seemed to have problem breathing through the coughs. 

"Rick!" Negan said as he sat fast by his side. He was worried that he was seeing him cough so much. 

Rick put his palm in front of his mouth as he coughed again and he saw blood at his hand. 

Negan saw it as well and his eyes widened. 

Rick's situation had worsened very rapidly. Rick was on the verge of tearing up. He didn't feel well at all. 

Negan made up his mind. Rick should be at the Infirmary in his condition. 

He helped him sit up from the bed. 

"Come on Rick, I'm taking you to Dr Carson" he told him quietly but his worry was evident. He seemed to be going better. How was he coughing up blood now? 

Rick looked at him miserably but didn't say anything. He couldn't deal with this all alone. Negan rested his head against his for a moment. 

"You will be fine, I promise you" he muttered. He felt like he was reliving Lucille's sickness again. He worried very much about Rick. 

Negan supported him as they walked to the Infirmary. 

What gutted him the most was that he was to blame for Rick's suffering right now.


	11. Chapter 11

Negan was feeling helpless as he sat next to Rick's now hospital bed. Carson would examine him more thoroughly in the morning. Coughing up blood was a serious development. Thankfully it wasn't much but if he did start to cough up more, it could be even life threatening. There wasn't an X-Ray machine nor a CT scan anymore. They had some medicines, but only that. If Rick required more demanding treatment, they didn't have the means to do it. Carson told him that he might got overwhelmed from the day. Even laying at bed could worsen his situation apparently. 

Negan lost the sense of time. He had no idea how late it was but it had to be pretty late. Rick had been sleeping until now. In fact when he brought him to the Infirmary, he laid down and fell asleep in a matter of seconds. He had to be exhausted. Negan could go back to his room but didn't want to leave him alone there. So he fought his sleepiness in order to stay awake. Just then, he saw Rick opening his eyes and looking at him. 

"Rick" Negan told him immediately when he saw him "sleep again, it's very late"

Rick let out a pained cough. 

"I want you to promise me something" Rick said to him with a rough voice. 

Negan sighed at that. 

"Rick, it's not the time to be chatting. Close your eyes and rest" Negan told him as he didn't think he would like whatever Rick wanted to say. He just knew it. 

"I want to say something right now. It can't wait" Rick said determined. Negan stayed silent and Rick took it as an acceptance to say what he needed to.

"If I die, I want you to take care of Carl and Judith" Rick said, trying hard to keep his voice steady. 

Negan felt his heart break into tiny pieces at these words. Rick had to really hate him to do this to him at that hour. 

"Ok ,new rule. We don't talk about things that will never happen and highly unlikely scenarios. The kids have a father and that's you" Negan said, barely keeping himself from tearing up "Don't hear you say these things again"

Rick let out a sob as he started crying. He was such a mess. 

"Please Negan, promise me" he begged him. He needed to know that he wouldn't let his kids to get harmed. That he would do everything to protect them. 

"Damn it Rick, you know what you're asking from me?" Negan demanded as he was feeling awful. 

"I know and that's why I'm asking it now, while I still can" Rick replied. 

Negan teared up as well as hot tears rolled down his cheeks. 

"I promise you" he sobbed out "but don't take it as permission to stop fighting. If anything you're required to fight more now. I'm warning you, don't you dare let some sickness take you down"

Rick let out a trembling breath. 

"I mean it Rick" Negan told him through his tears "that's an order in fact"

"I'll try..." Rick mumbled as Negan pressed his lips at his forehead. This was so painful for him. 

"Sleep now Rick and from tomorrow to not hear you say these crap again. You are not thinking clearly so late at night" Negan ordered him quietly as Rick obeyed and closed his eyes

Negan walked out of the Infirmary as soon as Rick fell asleep and let himself slide against the wall. Why Rick had done that to him? Not that he didn't deserve it for all that bs he had put the guy through. Threatening to kill him, his kids, his friends...anyone he gave a damn about. 

Now that he came to realise how wrong he had been, Rick was putting him in charge of his kids in case he died. Not only Negan felt like he didn't deserve it, but he was terrified of the idea that Rick could not make it. 

He guessed that was payback for all the crap he had done all this time.


	12. Chapter 12

Negan was at the hallway outside of the Infirmary as Carson was examining Rick when Carl walked fast towards him. The kid looked very worried. 

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Carl demanded to know. 

Negan sighed. He looked like he hadn't slept for even some minutes all night. 

"Didn't want to worry you" he said eventually as he looked at the floor with a lost expression. Of course he wouldn't mention anything about Rick's "talk" last night. It wouldn't happen either way, so why upset Carl even more? Rick was gonna make it and he would return him home to be with his family at last. 

"How is he?" Carl questioned as he took in Negan's sadness. 

"Don't know. Carson's checking on him. Look Carl please don't show him that you're worried. I try the same. He needs to be strong right now. I thought it was some common cold but it's more serious than that" Negan told him as he was on the verge of tearing up again. 

Carl put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He thought that Negan didn't actually care but seeing him now, was just heartbreaking. 

"He is gonna make it kid, we have to believe he will" Negan said as he gave him a sad smile that disappeared though very quickly. 

Carl sighed as they waited for Dr Carson to be done so they could see Rick. 

\---  
"Dad!" Carl ran by his side as soon as Carson exited from the room. 

"Hey Carl" Rick told him with a smile despite his rough coughing "Did you have breakfast?"

"No Dad, I didn't" Carl mumbled as he felt a pain inside of him seeing his Dad like that. 

Rick sighed to himself. 

"Tell Negan that if he doesn't feed you, I know Karate, Judo ,JuJitsu ,Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words and I'll use them" Rick told him at an attempt of humor. 

Carl laughed a bit at that. 

"I had seen that back when Internet still existed..." Rick told him as he let out a rough cough again. 

Negan saw Rick trying to lift Carl's mood and focused his attention on Dr Carson who had walked outside to talk to him. 

"How is he doing?" Negan questioned. 

"He is not well" Carson told him "he coughs a lot, still has a high fever and shivers. If he was coughing up more blood I would worry about his lungs but since he coughed only a bit yesterday, don't think he has severe problems there. Coughing blood can happen when you suffer from pneumonia. I'm afraid that the only solution is to stay at the Infirmary so I can check on him every day. If it was pre Apocalypse, he would be at the hospital right now. Since that isn't the case, the help he can have is limited. For the most part he has to fight it on his own..."

Negan sighed at all that. So basically they could do barely nothing to help him. 

He hated it that Rick had to be strong once again. If there was a way to make him better fast, Negan would do it without a second thought. 

Instead Rick would have to suffer through terrible symptoms and they would have to watch him do so without much they could do about it. 

He felt exactly like when Lucille had cancer and her situation was so critical that there was nothing to be done. 

As he looked at Rick, who was trying to show that he was better for Carl's shake, Negan realized that it would kill him if he had to live through the same things with Rick as well.

He walked to them as Carson left to go to his office and Rick looked at him. 

"Carl is telling me that he didn't have breakfast yet. Go together to eat and then please take him home" Rick told him with a glare that said : Remember what you promised. 

Negan felt very frustrated that Rick wanted to make Carl accept him sooner rather than later, in case he died. He wasn't willing to act like Rick was a lost cause though nor to take his place of course. 

Carl definitely didn't want to go to Alexandria and leave his Dad but he wouldn't take no for an answer. 

"Your sister needs you Carl" he said to him "I'll be back before you even realise it"

"Ok Dad..." Carl mumbled, not feeling well that he had to leave his Dad. 

Rick kept Negan back for a moment. 

"Straight to the gates, ok? Please Negan, I want him home safe" he pleaded him. 

Negan gave him a glare and nodded ,as he swallowed hard. He just couldn't not do what Rick asked him when he was pleading him and was seeing the hurt in these blue eyes of his.


	13. Chapter 13

After Carl ate some breakfast, because Negan didn't have a mood to even eat, he began driving back to Alexandria. They stayed mostly in silence.

"Why does he insist that we spend time together? He didn't even want me approaching you until now" Carl asked out of sudden.

Negan sighed. "Because Rick got crazy and thinks he is gonna die, putting his enemy in charge of his kids" That was the truth. Maybe not the enemy part since he didn't want to think of himself like that for Rick,but still.

"I am sure he will pass this phase soon, don't worry" Negan said instead.

Carl looked at him intensely.

"Don't think that he is having a "phase" Carl said eventually.

"He is sick Carl and being sick makes him not think clearly. When he gets well, I'm sure that he will realise some things that now make sense to him"

"Just please let me know how he is doing, ok?" Carl asked as he sighed. He would miss him so much.

"Of course kid, you can talk from the Walkie Talkie as much as you want" Negan said to calm him down.

Negan arrived to Alexandria and found Daryl at the gates like he had been expecting him. He looked pissed off. Negan sighed. Did this guy have a radar to spot him even from a far? He didn't want to deal with him right now. Only to go back to Rick.

"Carl why don't you go inside so Daryl over there can put his anger on me?" Negan told him as Daryl walked by his side of the car and was waiting for him to open the window.

Carl sighed and walked out of the car as Daryl gave him a a judgemental glare. He wished they didn't have a fight right now.

Negan opened his window eventually and looked at Daryl.

"What can I do for you Daryl?" he asked him.

"Two days. Carl has been missing for two days" Daryl spat at him "why didn't you let us know to not worry sick? First Rick, now Carl... When are you gonna stop?"

"He came to see his Dad, should he have asked your permission first? Didn't force him to come if that's what you're implying. Rick got to see him, it's not like I had them both in cells, torturing them" Negan said very frustrated. 

Daryl crossed his arms as he let out a huff. 

"That doesn't explain why you didn't let us know that he was there"

"I was busy ok? He will tell you himself that he is perfectly fine" Negan told him.

"When are you letting Rick go?" Daryl demanded to know. 

"It's not your business Daryl what I do with Rick. Now if you'll excuse me, can't sit here to chat any longer. I have things to do" Negan said and before Daryl could protest he turned on the engine to leave. 

\--- 

Carson walked back to the Infirmary only to see Rick having his eyes closed and trembling a lot.

"Rick" Carson said to him urgently as he shook his arm. He felt his forehead and he was burning up.

That poor guy. What else was to happen to him? 

Carson decided that they needed to drop the fever and fast. Negan had allowed him to go to his room if there was something needed from Rick. He helped him up and walked slowly to Negan's room. Rick was mumbling things that you couldn't understand, but it was necessary to bring the fever down. When they reached Negan's room, Carson helped Rick to the bathroom. 

"Where are we?" Rick mumbled confused. His mind felt completely disconnected to his body. He let out a rough cough again. 

Carson let out a sigh. "At Negan's bathroom. It's one of the biggest at the Sanctuary. You are burning from fever Rick" 

Rick was feeling that way. He should be embarrassed to get undressed in front of someone for the second time in a few days but he felt so tired that he actually didn't. Plus Carson was a doctor and this was for medical purposes. Not meant to embarrass him. 

Carson filled up the bathtub with lukewarm water and helped him get in. Rick felt instant relief as the water touched his burning skin. 

Negan returned to the Sanctuary and went to the Infirmary but Rick wasn't there. Where could he have gone to? He walked to his room and saw that his bathroom had the lights on. He walked in quietly and Carson turned to look at him as Rick rested for a bit.

"He has a high fever Negan" he told him worried "just now helped him to the bathtub to help him drop the fever" Negan looked at Rick who was trying hard to relax. 

"I'll help him, don't worry" said Negan. 

"He needs a sponge bath and I believe it will help him a lot" Carson said as he walked out so Negan could take over. 

Negan swallowed hard as he approached Rick. He tried to be respectful and not look at him but this wasn't like he had imagined seeing Rick naked for the first time. Sure he had made him strip but he had done it to annoy him. Now he felt like he was just intruding his privacy. He needed help though. He grabbed a sponge and started washing Rick gently. His face was still flushed and he was clearly very tired. 

Rick blinked his eyes and looked at him. "Bet you didn't plan that when you kidnapped me..." Rick mumbled at him. 

Negan let a small smirk on his face. "Washing my enemy you mean?" he asked playfully. "

In general..." Rick replied "I have been nothing but a burden for you" 

Negan touched his face gently so their eyes could meet. "Do you want me to make another rule?" he questioned. 

"What kind of rule?" Rick asked him. 

"To not make stupid assumptions. You are not a burden and don't want you to think of yourself as one. If someone is responsible for your sufferings, that's me" 

Rick teared up at that as hot tears ran down his cheeks.

"I'm gonna die" he sobbed out. 

"No you're not" Negan growled at him. Damn you Rick, he thought. 

"I want you to know that I love you if I do" Rick let out. 

"What?" Negan asked in shock. 

"You think I would let my kids to someone I didn't have 100% trust? You may be an asshole, the worst one I've ever met, but despite this unlikely turn of events, I got to see how much you care. For me, for my kids" Rick said between his tears. 

Negan felt his heart broken at these words. The idea of Rick dying was killing him from the inside out. 

"I love you too, you prick" he sobbed out. "You are the most defiant person I've ever come across, but there is noone else I wish I could have ever gotten to meet but only you. So stop these bs about dying. You are not going anywhere. You are gonna kick the sicknesse's butt"

Rick let out a short chuckle at that. 

"Let's finish this bath and then you will lay down again warmly" Negan told him as Rick still had a small smile on his face.


	14. Chapter 14

Negan wrapped Rick up with blankets to keep him as warm as possible. He laid next to him and felt his head. It seemed like the fever had withdrawn a bit with the bath. Rick let out another cough as Negan fixed the covers better for him. 

"You are so fluffy, you look like a burrito" said Negan joking a bit. 

"Yeah, all wrapped up..." Rick answered roughly but it was nice being like that with Negan by his side "wish I had one right now"

Negan sighed. He wished he could cook things for him and have dinners together but that couldn't happen considering Rick's health. 

"Tomorrow you are gonna eat a warm soup. The weather has gotten more cold. And not getting up much. Can't risk your health even more. You need to stay as protected as possible" Negam told him. 

Rick averted his eyes a bit. He really would like to cry again, but he bet Negan was tired of his breakdowns all the time. 

Negan saw his sadness though and looked at him in his blue eyes. 

"Please don't tell me that you're thinking about dying again?" Negan asked him. He didn't know what to do to take this negativity off Rick. It wasn't doing him any good. 

"No" Rick shook his head "it's just that I thought I could get to turn Alexandria into something better, make gardens, plant vegetables... I am not ready to go just yet" he sobbed out. 

"Rick I'm warning you. Stop thinking like that. Can't you see how self destructing it is? You are gonna do everything you want and more" Negan said to him. "Carl found it weird that you want us to bond out of sudden" 

"It doesn't take practice. You are already close. Of course I had objections at first but now they are gone. He will understand"

"Daryl was pissed off. Don't think he has the same " understanding " Negan told him as he remembered how angry Daryl was. 

"Daryl will get over certain things as well. He is still mad at you, but if there is need, he is willing to take a step back and see what needs to be done" Rick mumbled. He was missing his best friend and hated that he was worrying. 

Negan sighed and wrapped his arm around him. 

"Will you be sighing all night?" Rick asked ,mimicking his question when Rick first came to the Sanctuary. 

Negan let out a soft chuckle. 

"No I am not" he answered "but I'll worry until you get well again"

"When I get healthy, I'll find you all the pork and beans cans that there are left" Rick smirked a bit. 

Negan smirked back at him ,although he knew that he wouldn't be risking Rick's health again over some stupid cans. He didn't know how their communities would be after all that he'd been through with Rick, but definitely not like they used to. Definitely wouldn't endanger Rick once more though. 

Not only he had been forcing him to go out daily in the cold weather, but he had taken their doctor, their medicine, mattresses...it wasn't that much of a surprise that Rick had gotten sick, he just didn't expect to be that sick to the point of it being life threatening. He promised to himself that he would try to make things right for Rick. The guy had been through too much already. 

"Judith has taken her curls from you" Negan told him out of sudden. He loved Rick's curls. 

Rick let out a small snort of disbelief. 

"Dont think she has but I appreciate it that you think so" he told him ,as Negan grabbed his hand in his and rubbed it a bit to calm him down. 

"They have taken your badassness though" Negan smirked again. 

"That, they have" Rick let out a small laugh. 

"With the talk, it's gotten pretty late" Negan said "you should rest Ricky"

"Yeah, feel tired again..." Rick mumbled as he closed his eyes. 

"I got you" Negan muttered to him as he watched Rick fall asleep in a matter of minutes.


	15. Chapter 15

Rick was feeling very weak when he woke up and was coughing a lot. It was raining outside and the sky had heavy clouds which wasn't helping his mood at all. Negan looked at him and Rick could see his worry. He was scared as well. When he thought he was going a bit better, his health had to decline again. 

"What am I gonna do with you?" Negan questioned softly as he bit his lip with worry. On the inside he was feeling very bad about Rick's situation. 

Rick coughed again and laid on his back. 

"To go on with your day" Rick told him decisively "you have stayed more than enough with me. Because I'm sick doesn't mean you have to get too, psychologically speaking. I am not a great company either way, crying all the time like a baby..."

Negan sighed in frustration. He didn't like Rick's words at all. 

"Didn't we say to cut the crap?" Negan asked him as he crossed his arms in front of him. 

Rick rolled his eyes despite not feeling well. 

"I am serious Negan. You can't spend your days with me. Have to do other things, it's not like I can go somewhere"

"Don't want to leave you alone" Negan told him, because he really didn't. 

"You need to learn to be without me" Rick insisted. He didn't like being without Negan by his side, but Negan had to get used to the possibility of him not making it. 

Negan let out an exasperated sigh. 

"Rick" he told him warningly. This guy could get on his nerves like nobody else. 

"What?" Rick asked instead. He would stay true to what he believed was right and Negan moving on with his life, was the right thing right now. 

"Can I at least bring you some breakfast before you kick me out?" he asked him in annoyance. 

Rick acted like he was thinking about it. Truth be told he didn't have an appetite but Negan would get mad if he didn't eat. 

"Fine, you can" he drawled eventually. "But then you will go do something else"

Negan raised his hands up exasperated as he walked out of the room to get Rick something to eat. 

Rick could drive him to his limits when he wanted to. He was so sick and he wanted him to pretend like he didn't have anything. 

But it seemed like he would make him leave one way or another. He didn't know how he would focus on something else when his mind was shouting "Rick" all the time. 

He grabbed him some fresh fruit that would hopefully help him a bit. Also got one walkie talkie. If he was to leave him alone, he needed him to be able to contact him at all times. 

Negan walked back to his room and found Rick gazing out of the window with a sore expression. Thinking that there was nothing else he could do but gaze at things, Negan felt sadness overtaking him. 

"This is for you" he told him as he left the walkie talkie by the bedside table "I'll do what you ask but whatever and I mean whatever happens, you radio me immediately. It's a small favor to ask since I'm already doing something very difficult- to leave you all alone"

Rick looked at the Walkie Talkie and nodded. 

"Don't worry, I'll radio you" he said eventually. It wasn't so much to ask after all. He knew that Negan was worried for him. 

Negan examined him carefully and maybe he decided that Rick would be doing what he asked of him. 

"Eat up also" he said as he left some fruits as well "hopefully they will help you"

"Thank you Negan" Rick told him as he let out some coughs again. 

"You're welcome, you prick" Negan said as he leaned in to kiss Rick's forehead closing his eyes as emotions overtook him. 

He knew that he would be back at him as soon as possible ,despite Rick's likely protests.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big Happy Birthday to Andrew Lincoln, miss Rick a lot ,but wish him all the best!

Rick looked at the door from which Negan had left and he felt bad for making him leave when he clearly didn't want to. But it wasn't doing him good to be spending so much time with a sick person and especially not one with a psychology such as his. He felt tired of being stuck in a room and laying at bed the whole day. If he didn't improve though, getting up wasn't happening. Rick looked at the walkie talkie and thought to radio Alexandria. It's not like Negan would refuse it but he didn't ask him for a walkie talkie all these days. Now that he had given him one on his own, it would do him good to hear someone from his home for a bit. 

He turned it on and signaled Alexandria's radio. The other side cracked to life. 

"Hello...?" Rick asked hesitantly with his rough voice. 

Some moments of silence passed. 

"Rick? Is that you?" he heard Daryl asking. 

"Yeah it's me" Rick responded as he let out a cough again. 

Daryl sighed to the walkie talkie as he heard Rick's voice and him coughing. 

"You are not well Rick" he mumbled feeling sad to hear his friend like that. "Carl said you have pneumonia"

"I do" Rick confirmed as he tried to get more comfortable on the bed. 

"Why do you let him control your life Rick?" Daryl questioned "You have to demand to return you home. He had his "fun". Now things are serious"

"I can't leave Daryl. It's not that Negan has me locked up. I'm just very weak to be going anywhere really. Even for basic things, I need help. Plus Carson is checking on me everyday"

Daryl let out a huff. He really wanted Rick to come back, didn't trust Negan to not harm him or to even let him go. He had to escape personally, Rick wasn't well enough though to do the same. 

"Look Daryl, I know that it's hard but my situation is not good. Don't know if I will..." he said on the verge of tearing up, but remembered what Negan had told him and held it "you need to put your differences with Negan aside. For my shake if not anyone's else's. I am just tired of fighting..."

"You will overcome this Rick, I just know it" Daryl answered who was feeling his heart heavy as well "if you think that staying there it's the best for you, so be it, but we are all missing you..." 

"I know Daryl, I miss you too. Hope to get to see you sooner rather than later"

"Just try to stay safe Rick and if he mistreats you in any way, he is gonna pay" Daryl said ,feeling frustrated that Negan wasn't giving Rick back. 

Rick sighed at that. Accepting Negan would be very challenging apparently. 

"He is not. The complete opposite he has been doing. I will be calling you regularly to talk to Carl and Judith as well" Rick told him to calm Daryl down. 

"Ok Rick..." Daryl drawled unsure "just rest and we'll talk again"

"Thanks buddy" Rick said and he turned off the walkie talkie. 

Rick gazed out of the window as the rain was falling and wondered when this situation would be ending so he could feel useful again. 

\---

Negan left Rick alone and he was already regretting it. He knew that it was his room and he could stay even if Rick didn't agree, but didn't want it to seem like he was forcing his wants over his. Negan got what Rick wanted from him, to not be spending all of his time with him, but he wanted to. He sighed as he walked down the stairs. He didn't even know what to do. Days like this one he would usually terrorize communities or check if Alexandria was cooperating. These visits usually involved spending a lot of time with Rick. The Sanctuary looked more depressing when it was raining. It was a cold factory after all, even if the day was perfect outside, it would still look cold. 

He looked at his Walkie Talkie and it was very tempting to use it already. But he had to control himself. He recalled what he and Rick had been talking about and an idea popped in his mind. He walked to Gareth who was the lead of the scavenging team.

"Hey Gareth" he greeted him "wanted to ask, haven't you mentioned me that you had found a greenhouse?"

"Yes" Gareth nodded "it may had seeds but didn't want us to spend time there since nothing grows at the ground around the Sanctuary"

"Can you tell me where it is? I want to see for myself if it has something of use"

Negan started driving despite the rain with the Walkie Talkie left by his side. He wondered what Rick was doing right now. Probably sleeping. If the greenhouse had seeds , he would give them to Rick to start on Alexandria's gardens when he was healthy again. It was rare to find seeds and he knew that Rick had been focusing only to find food for the Saviors and his community, so he really wished noone had taken them yet. 

The wet street was completely empty. He wished Rick could be there with him but it was also cold outside so of course that couldn't happen. He sighed as he checked the map that Gareth had given him. This greenhouse wasn't that close to the Sanctuary but he would just check it out and return. Not spend hours out there. He wanted to get back to Rick in case he needed something although he had told Carson to bring him some soup. The Doctor was the only one he trusted around Rick. He usually could take care of himself just fine, but now that he was sick and weak, he wouldn't risk it. 

Ηalf an hour later, he saw the greenhouse in front of him. The rain was still falling and it was pretty cold outside. Up to now he was at the warmth of his car, so Negan felt a chill when he got out. He would just check it out and get back to the Sanctuary. The door opened with ease and Negan got inside as he tried to put in check his hair that had gotten wet. The rain made noise as it was hitting the glass on the roof of the greenhouse. Negan looked around him and most plants were long withered. 

He looked around and saw no seeds, something in his gut though was telling him that they did keep seeds there as well. Negan kept searching through the mess that was the greenhouse and he discovered a shelf that was full of small bags with seeds. He smiled to himself as he checked what the labels were saying. They had seeds for both flowers and vegetables. He put them in his jacket's pockets. Couldn't wait to show them to Rick. 

Suddenly he heard a cracking sound behind him and turned around as he grabbed Lucille that he had left by his side. He saw a guy around his thirties being all wet from the rain. 

He was holding a gun and pointing it at him.


	17. Chapter 17

"Who are you?" Negan demanded to know as the guy was still pointing a gun at him. 

"I live here" the man responded instead. 

"You live in this mess of a greenhouse?" Negan questioned as he tried to buy time to see how he would escape. Lucille was a formidable weapon, but it couldn't dodge bullets. It could basically, since she had blocked Rosita's when she had shot at him, but this was more of a luck than anything else. 

"You think I like staying here?" the man got angered by the question. If Negan thought he may was unstable at first, now he was sure of it. 

"Then why the hell do you? Why not find an abandoned house or something? Don't know what you like" Negan asked him. By now he could be driving back to the Sanctuary to be with Rick again, if he didn't have to deal with this dude. 

The man let out a hysterical laugh. "Yep, definitely a psycho", Negan thought. 

"I used to live at a house. Yeah. Everything was great. I used to scavenge and hunt for food. For me and my wife. You wanna know what happened one day?" the man told him as he kept him on gunpoint. 

"Maybe, don't know" Negan told him with indifference. Why would he care about some random dude? 

"Some guys were at our house. The house me and my wife had worked so hard to make it liveable again. I had just returned from hunting when I heard it. My wife's screams. I ran to the house but it was over. Not only they'd raped her but they strangled her to death" the guy let out in rage "they left back something except from my dead wife. A drawn symbol of a bat with barbed wire wrapped around it. A bat like...the one you're holding right now"

Negan felt his blood ran cold at that. Who the hell had been doing these things? 

"I don't know what you're talking about. I am sorry for what happened to your wife but I'm not responsible of what some guys did"

The man looked at him and let out a humorless chuckle. 

"I can spot the liars when I see them" the man said. "Don't get me wrong. I don't say you did that, because I would cut pieces of you right here and now, but oh- you so know who may had done this. You're gonna tell me whether you want to or not" he said with malice. 

"Actually I won't buddy. I'm outta here" Negan said as he raised Lucille. He just wanted to go back to Rick. 

"Don't think so "buddy" the man responded as he fired the gun. Negan tried to dodge the bullet but it grazed his ribs. He let out a pained yell as he grabbed his ribs to try and control the bleeding. It may had grazed him but it hurt a lot. 

The man walked to him as the rain kept falling to the roof above their heads. Negan tried to defend himself with Lucille but the guy had a big advantage on him. 

"Nighty, night" the guy told him as he knocked him out with the gun. 

\---

It's been hours since Rick ate lunch, a soup as Negan had promised him and the rainy sky was turning to dark outside. Negan was nowhere to be seen. He thought he would be back by now. Rick kept coughing. He just wished Negan wouldn't be late for much longer. Having spend all day alone, he was desperate for some company before they slept together, like every night since he came to the Sanctuary. 

Carson came by to bring him food again and check on him. Rick was still very weak and feverish. 

"Hey, did you see Negan today?" Rick asked him when he finished the examination. 

"No, I didn't" Carson said "He just let me know to bring you food since he would be doing some work he had to do"

"Ah alright" Rick nodded hesitantly. What work was that, that had made him gone missing the whole day? 

"He will be back soon I'm sure" Carson told him as he bid him goodnight. 

Rick was left alone again and he stared at the walkie talkie. He had a fear that it would be like he would be acting like a jealous person, but he couldn't help it. He just wanted to know what Negan had been doing and when he would be back to his or maybe theirs room. 

He signaled Negan's walkie talkie but there was no sound at all. 

"Negan?" Rick asked roughly but he got no response. 

Only silence. 

Perhaps he was occupied with something that couldn't allow him to check on his walkie talkie. Rick sighed as he looked beside him, at the empty space that Negan usually occupied. 

"You wanted him to leave" said a small voice inside his mind. That was true, but he did expect Negan would be back by now. But he couldn't be mad at him for doing exactly what he asked of him. 

Rick shifted his body and covered himself better. He rested his hand on Negan's side of the bed. Tomorrow he would wake up and Negan would be beside him. Rick decided from now and on that he wouldn't demand again to leave him alone. Only if he wanted to or he had to do something else. 

He had come to love Negan's company and he was missing it so much. 

Rick rubbed his palm on the bed sheets and closed his eyes.


	18. Chapter 18

Negan woke up again to a strong dizziness. He tried to move his hands but he couldn't. He realised that he was tied up to a pole still at the greenhouse. He blinked his eyes and saw the same guy who had shot him. His ribs hurt now that he was awake again. He bet that this man would let him bleed out as slowly as possible. 

He let out a groan as he looked at him. 

"What the hell do you want from me?" Negan asked him. He thought of Rick and how he would be when he realised that he had been missing the whole day. He had to get back. Just had to. 

"The truth" said the guy. 

"You want the truth when I don't even know your name? Not to mention that you shot me and I'm tied up" Negan snapped at him. 

"My name is Jeffrey and my wife's name, Anna. What is yours?"

"Negan" he answered with pain "Two wrongs don't make a right, you know. I am not responsible for what they did to your wife"

"Deep down you know that you are. They are yours, aren't they?" Jeffrey asked him as he grabbed Lucille which was by his side. Negan growled when he saw him holding her. 

"They may be from my compound. What the hell do you expect from me? To have them on watch 24/7? They are grown ass men. When they killed your wife, they made a choice. Do tell me,how the hell is it my fault that they made the choice to be rapists and murderers of a woman who was just trying to get by?" Negan demanded. 

"When you were putting them to your compound you knew damn well what they were capable of. The guilt is written all over your face" Jeffrey spat at him as he pointed Lucille at Negan "maybe I should just slit your throat with this goddamned bat"

Negan felt his eyes stinging as the bat touched his throat. Thankfully he didn't do it and removed the bat from him. 

"You are gonna sit there tied up, while bleeding out and tomorrow I will decide what I'll do to you. Since I don't have those responsible, I'll punish the next one in line" he told him as he stood up and left Negan all alone. 

Negan couldn't hold it anymore. He started crying hard. His mind was on Rick. There was nothing else he cared about. Not about being tied up, not that he had an opened wound, not even that a psycho had him. Only for Rick he cared about. He should make it. He was so sick and now he was sure that he would be worried for him, despite the fact that he didn't deserve none of Rick's love and compassion. 

He rested his head on the pole behind his back and felt a strong wave of nausea overtaking him. 

Negan closed his eyes and wished this was one hellish nightmare that he would wake up from. 

\---

Rick woke up in the middle of the night feeling his heart beating fast. He felt his forehead and he still had a damned fever. He turned on the light at the bedside table and he felt soreness ovetaking him. Negan still wasn't back, which was very concerning. He may was an asshole most of the time, but he would never make him worry so much. He definitely didn't have any work to do so late at night. 

Rick got up with struggle and supported himself from the walls. This sickness had drained all of his energy. He had to find out where Negan was though. He dragged himself to the Infirmary. Carson was from the only ones awake at that hour. 

"Rick" he said surprised when he saw him "Why aren't you sleeping? Do you feel worse?" Carson questioned worried. 

"Not worse that usually. Carson, Negan didn't return" Rick told him as he continued supporting himself. 

"Not until this hour?" Dr Carson asked him. That was indeed very weird and worrisome. 

"Yes, he just didn't. He has been missing the whole day. I know that he would never do something like that. I am very concerned about his well-being" Rick told him urgently. 

Carson rubbed his forehead with worry. 

"Ok listen what you will do. You will lay down again and try to remain as calm as possible. Your condition doesn't allow strolling around the compound. I am gonna wake some people up , the most capable, to go search for him" Carson told him decisively. 

"Carson, I can't just go to bed when Negan had been missing for so many hours" Rick told him exasperated. 

"You have to ,Rick" Carson insisted "we don't know what happened to Negan. Please do not endanger yourself in the meantime. You know that he would want the same"

Rick was on the verge of tearing up but he knew that Carson had a strong point. He nodded hesitantly, as the Doctor left to wake up some people to make a search team.


	19. Chapter 19

Negan tried to get some rest but it was impossible in his condition. He opened his eyes and looked around him. The sun was starting to rise up so there was enough light to see. Not so far away from the length of his legs he saw a piece of glass. That piece could be his chance of freeing himself if he managed to get it in his tied up hands in order to cut the rope. He struggled a lot by stretching his left leg and he managed to get the piece under his boots. 

He took a trembling breath as he was feeling the blood dripping from his side but this was his only chance of getting the hell away from there. With big struggle he got the piece by his side and tried by repositioning himself as much as he could , to get it to move. Finally he brought it close to his tied up hands and extended his fingers to an uncomfortable level in a way to get it. "Come on Negan, come on", he thought as he continued struggling. He knew that he was hurting his ribs by what he was doing but the alternative was that he would die. So it was a small price to pay in his head. He let out a sigh of relief when he finally got it. Moved it with his hands so that the sharp edge was pointing at the rope and started moving it up and down as fast as he could. 

The process was long and painful because he was cutting on his skin as well but he knew that there was no time to think of how much in pain he was. He held his sobs and continued cutting. Finally the rope got loose enough and he knew that soon he would be untied. He had lost a whole damn day with this dude that happened upon him. Just in time, he heard footsteps coming his way. Negan continued cutting and if he moved his hands, the rope would fall down. He hid the piece of glass in his palm and played it that he was still tied up. 

That guy, Jeffrey, walked towards him while swinging Lucille as he looked down at him. Negan knew that he had to look terribly by now. He was worn down after all this pain and the slow but steady blood loss. 

"Can I have some water?" Negan said with a very rough voice. 

"Not that you deserve it but don't want you to die just yet" Jeffrey answered as he moved to grab a flask with water. He moved cautiously towards Negan and got down on one knee. He opened the flask for him and brought it to Negan's chaped lips. Negan knew that this was an ideal timing since he was focused on giving him water to drink, so he was distracted. He brought his hands to the front and before Jeffrey could do something, he nailed the glass to his throat. 

The man let out a surprised gasp and he fell backwards making the water get spilled to the floor. He grabbed his throat in an attempt to control the bleeding. 

Negan felt his eyes stinging. 

"I didn't want to do that" he told him "but I'm not them. I'll never be" Negan said coldly as he removed the glass from his throat and watched him bleed out. He got to his feet with pain and picked up Lucille. He supported himself from every surface he could find and walked out as he struggled ,hearing Jeffrey's gasps behind him as he was dying. 

Thankfully his car was still where he left it. He saw the radio and turned it on as he signaled Rick's walkie talkie. 

The response was almost immediate. 

"Negan?" he heard a very tired Rick questioning with worry. 

"It's me Rick" Negan sobbed out. 

Rick started crying when he heard his voice. 

"Please don't cry" Negan begged him as he couldn't stand hearing him like that. 

"What happened to you Negan?" Rick demanded between his tears. 

"Someone held me hostage the whole night. I can't explain from the walkie talkie. I'll return but slowly. Can't drive fast..." Negan said as he looked at his leather jacket which had blood on the side from where his wound was oozing out blood. 

"Why not send someone to pick you up? They had been searching for you the whole night" Rick told him as Negan didn't sound well at all. 

"Don't trust anyone right now. Don't worry, since I got through all that crap already I'll manage to drive as well" Negan said ,as he tried to calm him down. 

"Please be careful" Rick sobbed out. 

"I am coming home Rick. Soon" Negan said as he wiped the tears from his eyes. 

\---

"Grimes did it! He may has thrown Negan to a ditch already" 

Carson happened to pass by a corridor and heard some Saviors talking. He felt anger at these words. He didn't say anything so far at the insulting things he was hearing, but it was too much. 

"Do you have evidence to support this serious allegation?" Carson spat at the guy who said it. 

"It doesn't take a mastermind Carson" he responded "Rick gains so much if Negan is out of the way"

"Except that Rick has pneumonia and is on my watch daily. Unless he can be at two places, at the same time. Since you're a "mastermind" figure it out or stop making stupid assumptions!" Carson told him with anger as the guy looked at him dumbfounded. "When Negan comes back, I'll let him know about what you were saying"

With that he turned his back to them and went away, as they kept staring at him.


	20. Chapter 20

It was noon by the time Negan managed to get back to the Sanctuary. Driving had been very hard, but he went slowly because better safe than sorry. He couldn't believe what had happened to him so unexpectedly. He did feel remorse for what killing that man but it was either his survival or that man's. The pain must have driven him insane. Negan sighed with relief as he saw the Sanctuary in front of him. Now he was starting to realize that there was a big chance he would never see this place again and especially not Rick. If he hadn't killed him first, Jeffrey would have tortured him first like he had already and eventually kill him for something he didn't do. 

Negan parked his car and the first person he saw was Gareth coming his way with a hurry. 

"We need to talk" he demanded as Negan let a groan when he got out of the car. 

"I am just bleeding out, nothing to worry about" he told him sarcastically as he was in pain. All he wanted was to lay down, not to be talking. 

"You met him didn't you?" Gareth asked to which Negan snapped and looked at him. 

"How the hell do you know what happened to me?" Negan asked. 

Gareth sighed. 

"I should have never let you go there. The reason I had been avoiding this greenhouse wasn't what I told you" Gareth said bitterly. 

Negan's frown just deepened. 

"Explain" he ordered him as he supported himself from the car. 

"It was about one week before Rick and his people killed the Saviors at that outpost. Me and some others were scavenging. I laid down to get some shut eye our first night out there and saw them getting up. Didn't pay much attention. Thought they just couldn't fall asleep. Slept again and woke up some time later to Jeffrey holding a knife against my throat. I begged him to not harm me. He didn't. Said that he had a wife to go back to. That he wasn't actually a murderer. I was shaken but glad to still be alive. Sat to my sleeping bag and waited for the others to be back. When they did , they had been laughing and being in a good mood. I asked where they had been and they just said they went for a walk. We packed up and left. The guys that were with me that day, got murdered by Rick's people, except one. That person was at the Sanctuary. I happened upon Jeffrey again at that greenhouse about one week later. He had been crying and he was drunk. Admitted that some men had murdered and raped his wife. I instantly knew that it was them. Tried to comfort him but he wasn't listening to anything. Told me that the greenhouse was his and not see me or anyone else around there or he would be killing us. I swear that I thought he would be dead by now. Just this morning I realized that he may was still alive and wanted revenge" 

Negan was at a loss of words. 

"Why the hell you never mentioned all that?" Negan snapped at him. "Who was that person that wasn't killed by Rick?"

Gareth averted his eyes and looked at him again with shame. 

"It was David. Didn't tell you because all the persons responsible are dead"

David, Sasha's wannabe rapist. Negan felt even more joy right now that he had been the one to kill him. 

"I am sorry Negan, should have talked to you earlier..." Gareth said. 

"You should have yes" said Negan, but he couldn't find it in him to punish Gareth as well. Technically he had done nothing wrong. "Jeffrey is dead. Got forced to kill him in order to free myself"

Gareth had tears in his eyes as he looked at the dirt under his shoes. 

Negan turned his back on him and walked with struggle to the Sanctuary. 

By Rick and by him, those scumbags had gotten what they deserved. Jeffrey would never get to know it though, that his wife's killers were long gone and that he didn't have to threaten every single person who tried to help him.


	21. Chapter 21

Negan went straight to Carson who wrapped up his wounds and stopped the bleeding. He didn't have the mood to get into details of what happened. Just that someone had tied him up and had been hurting him. 

"Negan some Saviors were saying that Rick had to do with your disappearance" Carson told him with a frown "I shut it down of course, but thought you may wanted to know it"

Negan stayed silent but on the inside he felt anger. Directed to himself mostly. Jeffrey was right. He was the one that had put these people in his compound. They weren't actually loyal to him. Just wanted someone who would let them commit their crimes without questioning it. Perhaps Rick had done them all a favor when they killed those people at that outpost. Life was never black and white though. Of course there were people who never did anything like that and they had been killed as well. Just like Jeffrey and his wife. 

He felt disgusted by himself. Rick was nothing like him. There wasn't a chance that he would be corrupting him as well. When he was well enough to drive again, Rick would be returned to his home. Like he should have from the beginning. A life threatening experience was all he needed apparently to see things clearly. Just because his wife was gone, didn't mean that he would condemm Rick to a life of misery. He still had a family and he should be with them. Negan walked slowly to his room all bandaged up and he felt lost. Didn't want to let Rick go but that was what he had to. Sometimes what was right had to overwrite personal wants. 

Negan opened the door and saw Rick having a blanket wrapped around him and was staring at the bedsheets. It was obvious he had been crying a lot. He got up as fast as his health allowed and walked to Negan. 

He wrapped his arms around him, careful of the bandages and held him like his life depended from it. 

"I am here, I'm here" Negan told him as he tried to comfort him. 

"Don't you ever leave me alone" Rick sobbed out. He wasn't well and in combination with Negan's missing, it had made him very upset. 

Negan stayed quiet as he knew that he would be doing exactly that. 

"What happened to you Negan? Who hurt you?" Rick said as he took a step back to look at him. Negan looked very tired and worn down. 

"Someone, who is dead now" Negan answered simply. He didn't want to get into details. "Won't be harming anyone again"

Rick looked at him with a frown and got that Negan didn't wish to talk about what had happened to him out there. Negan left his bloody jacket at the side and laid down. It felt like a paradise being at his bed again. He thought he would die out there. Rick laid next to him and looked at him with worry. 

"You wanted to compete with me on who looks the worst?" Rick told him in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. 

Negan let out a small laugh despite being in pain. 

"You can't ever not look good Grimes" he told him. 

Rick moved closer to him. 

"I've missed you so much. I bet you're gonna be ok before I do. You're Negan, you can overcome anything" Rick said as rested his hand on his arm. 

"I missed you too Rick. More than you could ever imagine" Negan said as he sighed.


	22. Chapter 22

One week later of being in pain, Negan was finally well enough. Rick had been right ,when he said that he would be better before him, but Rick had an impressive progress as well. The fever had dropped and the coughing had minimized. Negan knew that it was time to do what he had decided. Thankfully these days had been sunny and not so cold so he wouldn't be risking Rick's health again. 

Rick had been taking care of him despite his own problems and it was heartbreaking considering all that he had put him through. Not just now, but from the day they met. It was time he returned him home. 

He walked to his room and saw Rick reading a book. He left a pair of warm clothes beside him as Rick stopped reading and looked at him.

"Thought we could go out for a bit. Asked Carson and he agreed that it would help to take some fresh air" he told him. 

Rick considered it. He definitely felt way better so he didn't see why not. It would be nice to spend some time with Negan, not being at the Sanctuary. 

He got dressed and when he came out of the bathroom he saw Negan staring out of the window with a sore expression. Maybe it had to do that he was still shaken from his adventure. 

"All good" Rick told him with a small smile on his face. Negan turned to look at him and swallowed hard. Rick looked happy. When he shouldn't be with him. He knew that he wouldn't like what he'd be doing, but it was the only way. 

\---  
Negan started driving to Alexandria as Rick was looking at the passing greenery outside of the car. Negan let him enjoy it. He wanted to keep these peaceful moments they had shared. Even if they couldn't last forever. 

As they were getting closer to Alexandria, Rick began to realize where they were going. Maybe Negan wanted to make it a surprise and let him visit for a bit. On the one hand, he was happy that he would be seeing his family again, but on the other he had a bad feeling about this. 

Negan parked outside the gates and turned to look at Rick. 

"I-" drawled Rick unsure "why did you bring me to Alexandria? "  
"Because it's your home and it's time you return to it. I dragged your stay at the Sanctuary for way too long. Your friends and family are here, you should be with them"

Rick frowned at Negan's words. 

"Fine...I can see them and you can take me afterw-" he started but stopped at Negan's expression. "This isn't a visit, isn't it?"

"No Rick. This is me letting you go" Negan shook his head. 

"But I don't want to" Rick said exasperated. He didn't like this at all. 

"You don't ,now. In time you'll get that this was the only right thing"

"What about the pickups?" Rick questioned. Letting him go meant that the tributes would most likely return. 

Negan didn't even like discussing this. The thought of taking from Rick again felt disgusting to him. He knew that he couldn't stop them completely though. 

"Only some very basic things. Nothing else" he told him. Rick felt his eyes stinging. 

"What about us?" he questioned. 

"We can't continue Rick. People would eventually notice and that can't be happening"

"You think I give a damn what others think?" Rick asked him in anger and bitterness. He didn't know why Negan was doing that. 

"You have a family Rick. Don't need me. Go live your life with them. You've already lost too much time with me" Negan told him as he urged him to go out. 

Rick just frowned at him but he couldn't stay since Negan didn't want to. He found all this very frustrating. 

"You know, I left something at the Sanctuary" Rick told him. 

Negan looked at him as he raised his eyebrows. What did he leave? The clothes he had been wearing when he came he meant? 

"If you mean the clothes, I'll give them back..." Negan said as he eyed him. 

"No, what I left can't be seen and that is my love for you" Rick said. 

Negan swallowed hard at that. 

"I won't give that back" he mumbled , feeling emotional. 

"Good, because I wouldn't accept it even if you attempted to" Rick answered.

Tried to keep himself from tearing up as he got out of the car and Negan turned on the engine to leave. They exchanged one last look and Negan felt his heart broken at having to leave him there. 

He remembered when he first took Rick that he was pleading him to let him go. If he should have done it then, he wouldn't feel like that right now, when he had formed such a deep connection with this guy first. He had seen him cry, he had seen him being afraid, being happy...if he had just let him to his home, he wouldn't have seen all that. Negan sighed as he drove back to the Sanctuary. 

\---

It's been two long weeks later and Rick didn't feel well. His health had been restored but the heaviness he was feeling, just wouldn't go away. Everyone had been happier with the new deal with the Saviors. To take only some basic things. Until now Negan hadn't shown up at all. Nor he had called him on the radio to talk with him. Rick was happy to be with his kids and friends again, but this silence was killing him. The others had told him that he wouldn't be doing anything for the pickups and that he should rest but Rick being as stubborn as he was, he started taking the car out and searching for things. Maybe if he showed Negan that he was cooperating, he would agree to take him back. Or at least Rick wished so. 

He just missed the guy so much, despite the fact that he shouldn't miss him. Tried to call him but he was met with people telling him that Negan was busy. Doing what? He didn't even care if they were searching for things and in general being cooperative. Once Negan would be constantly coming by and check on them and him. Rick had never thought, he would be missing these days. Even if he was cold again, he wanted Negan to come by at last. His wish was eventually granted three weeks after he was let go. Negan appeared with only a few Saviors. Rick was the first one to open up. 

Negan felt his heart beating faster when he saw Rick's eagerness. Three weeks he had done nothing else but think of him daily. He had avoided on purpose to come to Alexandria but he got forced to as the Sanctuary wasn't doing well from food. Rick walked him to the pantry as he was giving him side glares. When they finally arrived, Rick turned to him. 

"How are you doing?" he questioned. 

Negan sighed. He didn't want Rick to worry for him. 

"Better, you?" Negan asked. 

"Same..." Rick drawled unsure. Negan pretended to be checking on the things but he couldn't care less. Five minutes later, he told Rick that they were ok without a care if they actually were. He just wanted this to be over soon to avoid the pain of seeing Rick. 

"Before you leave..." Rick told him hesitantly "this is for you" he said as he showed Negan another box. 

He opened it up and saw at least twenty cans of pork and beans. 

"This isn't a "basic" Rick" he told him, although he was feeling emotional. Rick had found them just for him. 

"No ,they are not. But did what you told me and tried harder. Thought you'd be pleased..." Rick said as he looked down at his feet. 

Negan walked closer to him as he teared up. 

"I'll never be pleased without you Rick" he sobbed out. 

Rick felt his eyes tearing up as well. 

"Then don't be without me. Please Negan, there is noone else I'd rather be with" Rick pleaded him. 

Negan cornered Rick against the pantry's wall and he saw him looking like a deer caught in headlights. He leaned in and kissed his lips as soft as possible. Rick responded to the kiss and felt a hot mess at his face from the emotions he was having. Happiness and relief that he could finally be with Negan. 

"I love you so much" Rick sobbed as he hugged him tightly "you will always be an asshole but you're mine"

"I am" Negan said as he hugged him as well. He would never be leaving Rick again. Not willingly at least. There would always be reasons for them to be apart but he didn't want to anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left to the story!


	23. Chapter 23

Negan walked Rick to the gates and told his men that there were some issues with the things that the Alexandrians had found and that he would be staying to "talk it out" with their leader. Rick wasn't comfortable to be pretending but they had to say it to them in a way to not anger them. It wouldn't be so easy to accept that they would be together from now and on, but they would have to say it eventually. Negan told his men to return home and that he would come back as well, when the "issue" was solved. 

Most Alexandrians were afraid to ask what was going on and what problem Negan had, but they didn't dare question it. When Negan's men left, Rick smiled a bit to himself. He would be having Negan all to himself. Daryl appeared from behind them though and looked at the both of them suspiciously. 

"Why are you still here?" he demanded to know. 

"Wasn't so pleased with the tribute. Rick and I will talk about it" he said, as he threw a possessive arm over Rick's shoulders who averted his eyes from looking at Daryl and looked at the ground instead. 

"What do you mean by that? You said that you would be taking only some basic things" Daryl demanded as he was getting angry. 

"I don't remember you being the leader Daryl" Negan told him although inside he felt bad that he had to be acting that way. This wasn't the time to say it though. "I will talk about it with Rick as I said already"

Daryl sighed frustrated. 

"Don't you dare do something to him" he warned him, as he left them alone, giving one last glare to Rick. 

Rick looked at Negan in the eyes and he sighed as he rested his head on his shoulder. Negan pulled Rick gently closer to him and let out a sigh as well. 

"They will find out eventually" Rick mumbled, feeling frustrated. He was worrying of what their reaction would be when they did find out. 

"We will deal with it when it happens" Negan answered quietly. 

"Let's go to my house" Rick told him and Negan nodded. 

Rick opened the door of his house. 

"Carl has gone to Hilltop, so we don't have to hide from him as well" Rick said to him although he knew that Carl was from the only ones they didn't have to hide from. 

Rick walked with Negan to see Judith who was thankfully still sleeping.

"She has grown so much" Negan said awed as he looked at her and touched her soft hair gently. 

It felt like a lifetime since he had discovered Judith's existence. 

"She does" Rick agreed as he smiled at him. They left Judith to sleep and went to the living room. Rick dropped himself to the couch and Negan sat beside him. 

"You think they fell for it?" Negan questioned after some moments of silence. 

Rick rolled his eyes at that. 

"Eh barely...but Daryl especially is still way too mad at you. Don't want to get punched to the face just when I am healthy again"

"Do you regret it?" Negan asked him hesitantly "they are your friends Rick. Of course their opinion matters to you..."

"No, they will need to accept it" Rick told him decisively "I'm not regretting anything"

Negan stared at his blue eyes and felt relief at Rick's words. He didn't want to ruin their thing before it even begun. 

"You have been right Rick on so many things,more than you can even imagine.You must have lost your mind to still want to be with me, after all that crap I did to you" 

"I've lost it for a long time now" Rick told him "but this isn't a decision based on that. You are the person I want to be with" Rick moved his face closer to Negan's and started kissing him. 

Negan kissed him back and he felt very happy that they were finally alone. Well not completely alone, but still... 

"Do you want to move to the bedroom?" Rick asked as he smirked at him. 

"Lead the way Grimes" Negan laughed as he kissed him once more. 

\---  
Rick felt like he had just fallen asleep and maybe he had, didn't know for sure. Negan's arm was wrapped around him. Suddenly Judith started crying. Negan blinked his eyes and looked at him. Rick pressed his lips at Negan's forehead. 

"I've got it" he told him quietly "sleep again" 

Negan let out a sleepy confirmation and Rick smiled to himself as he got up to go calm Judith down. 

He wished they could be like that everyday and raise the kids together. Negan needed a family and he needed someone to share things with. It was obvious that Negan loved his kids and the kids liked him too enough to accept him. 

For the first time after a very long period, Rick could dare to dream of a happy future. One that involved his kids and Negan being part of their family. They could finally be happy after everything they'd been through. 

Nothing would change the fact that this was the Apocalypse but it didn't have to be all misery and pain. 

"Hey sweety" Rick said picking up Judith "Dadda is here" he told her as he hugged his daughter. 

\---

"I have to go do something" Negan told him after they had breakfast and Rick had been feeding Judith her baby formula. 

"Something like...? The last time you went to do something, it didn't turn out so well" Rick said to him worried. 

"It won't happen again" Negan told him, as he tried to calm him down. 

"You never even told me what happened to you and disappeared" Rick mumbled. 

"I will explain everything Rick. It's that I need to do something that I should have done already. I will be back as soon as possible"

"Ok, just please be careful" Rick pleaded him. 

"I will" Negan promised as he leaned in to kiss him and bid Judith goodbye. 

\---  
After getting some hostile glares, coming from Daryl mostly, Negan got to his car and started driving. He had picked up a bed sheet and a shovel before he left from Rick's house. 

He drove back to the greenhouse. Negan owed it to Jeffrey to give him a proper burial. He had thought that he was a madman but if they had done the same to Lucille, he would be the same and worse even. Hell, he even named the bat after her. But at least, Lucille had been gone from something that there was no cure for. Jeffrey's wife died because some scumbags wanted to have their sick "fun". 

Negan owed him that much. He was wrong to leave him like that, but he didn't know then what had happened. That he was just a man who was in pain. Now it was too late since he had killed him but he didn't deserve to be left without someone buring him, even if he had been torturing Negan. 

He parked the car and started digging without stopping at all. After an hour of hard work he managed to open one hole large enough to bury Jeffrey. He walked to the greenhouse and wrapped him up with the sheet. Negan sighed to himself as he closed the hole again and stood there looking at it. He wished things could have been different. Jeffrey didn't deserve that end. If you had known, he could have helped him somehow. 

Negan walked back to the greenhouse and looked around. Everything was a mess. He walked further inside and found a room with a single bed. That's where Jeffrey had been staying apparently. Next to his bed he saw a notebook. He picked it up and sat at the bed. It turned out that it had drawings of flowers and plants. Whoever had drawn these had talent since they were very good. On the last page there was a picture of a young woman who was smiling at the camera. She was at a flower shop. 

Negan's eyes widened. This woman had to be Jeffrey's wife and apparently she was working or she owned a flower shop. That explained his obsession with the greenhouse then. He felt like that was what his wife would have liked. That's why he had been staying there even if the place was a mess. Because his wife loved the flowers and thought that he was closer to her by finding this place. Negan thought of the seeds he had found. With all that had happened, he didn't get the chance to give them to Rick yet. Perhaps they could fix this greenhouse and grow plants there instead of Alexandria. To honor Jeffrey and his wife. He knew that Rick wanted to fix Alexandria but they had all the time to work on both he believed. 

He stood up and looked around him one last time. If Rick agreed, that place could become full of plants and vegetables again. Not to mention that it would solve the Sanctuary's food issues. 

Negan walked back to his car in order to drive back to Alexandria. He didn't know what the future may hold or what conflicts they would have to face when their communities discovered that they were together, but he was willing to face it all. 

Only if he had Rick by his side. 

~The End~


End file.
